Han's Boys
by Fettkat
Summary: A Father's Day Special! Guess I've been inspired by all the Solo family viggies I've been reading lately, and thought I'd jump onto the bandwagon too! So here's a little series where all his "boys" write to Han, reflecting on his role in their lives as a father/father-figure.
1. Jacen

_Jacen/ Caedus_

Dear Dad,

I thought it would be the easiest to stop loving you. I used to think that I could never understand you. After all, I was never the pilot Jaina is. And Mom could always somehow read you just right. We never had much of a connect, did we, Dad? Yes, that's what I used to think.  
But lately, I've been wondering. And do you know who's made me wonder? It's my daughter- yes, I have a _**daughter!**- _your granddaughter, Allana. I love her, Dad. I love her more than I ever thought I could love another human being. She's the light of my life. She makes me wonder about the differences between us.

Did you ever feel this way, Dad? About us? About _**me**?_ Maybe you did. I don't know, and frankly, I don't even know whether I care very much anymore. You've always been trouble, haven't you, Dad? And now you're trouble for me. Because I want to be the best father in the galaxy to her, but all I have in my head about how to do that is what I learnt from you. She has your eyes. **_My _**eyes. And I get the strangest feeling when I look into them. It's like you're looking back at me. Like you've found some way to get** _into _**her.

I will do everything in my power to keep you away from her, you hear? I'd rather die than see you take her away from me.


	2. Jag

_[ A/N: Set in my own AU]_

_Jag_

Sir,

When I first proposed to Jaina, I knew I would do well to be wary of you. Having become a father now myself, I have begun to empathize more than you think. I believe I have a lot left to learn about this whole "fatherhood" thing.

There are times I look at my boys, and I simply don't know what to do. Jaina tells me not to be too hard on them. She doesn't want them to "go Chiss" on her, like me. She wants them to be like you, _they _want to be like you. And I? Perhaps I want them to be like you, too.

I watch the way you talk to them, the way you play with them and I try and learn the lessons of being a strong yet loving father to my sons. I live for my family now, just as you always have, and I'm beginning to see your point. It makes everything else that you've held dear all your life pale into insignificance.

Davin and Cherian have brought laughter and joy into my life. But there are moments of doubt, of fear and uncertainty. That's when Jaina gathers them up and tells them stories about her childhood. And she assures them that everything is going to be alright. And they believe her. Just as I believe her. Just as she used to believe you when you promised it to her, didn't you?

I have to admit, sir, you Solos sure have a way with people!


	3. Anakin

_Anakin_

Dear Dad,

These days I find writing to you is easier than talking. You will perhaps never realize how truly sorry I am, about Chewie.

Is there anything I can possibly do to make it up to you? You're seldom around nowadays and I can see how much Mom misses you. It makes me feel twice as guilty.  
But there isn't, is there? I'll just have to live with the weight of Chewie's sacrifice on my conscience and you'll have to live with your grief. Anything less would only be a slight to him, and I would never want that.

I have lived out the nightmare that was Sernpidal over and over in my head, in my dreams, but I can never find a way out. I hope you know that had there been even the slightest chance, I would have given everything to bring him back to us. I miss him too, you know.

It will always remain my greatest regret to have disappointed you, Dad. I love you and I will make you proud of me. Someday. I promise.


	4. Ben

_[A/N: Set post LOTF]_

_Ben_

Dear Uncle Han,

Do you remember the other day when I was helping you out with the _Falcon_? I was thinking...  
I think you and my dad are the two bravest men I know. Where do you guys find the strength to keep going on?

I know I don't often get around to saying this, but thank you. Thank you for being brave and for being _there_. For helping me to be brave when all I want to do is give up. That's when I think of you the most, you know. When I'm frightened.

Sometimes, nowadays, when I look at Dad, I think of you. Someday, I want to be as strong for my family as you. I hope I can be. I do try and learn. How to make jokes when my stomach's churning with dread, how to face death with a grin on my face, how to think straight when the world around me is changing so fast, how to just _know_ what's right and what's not, how to never, ever lose hope.

You looked at me that day, do you remember? When you caught me staring at you for a moment. You said, "What're you lookin' at?" and I said "Nothing."  
I lied, Uncle Han. I was looking at the kind of man I'd like to grow up to be.


End file.
